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The Gross National Debt

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Let me explain some terminology first. As many of you who read my blog know, I love Daily Kos. We've all been anxiously awaiting the results of special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation in the leaking of CIA agent Valerie Plame's name. It's become laughable at times - over the past week or so I've seen at least three recommended diaries a day on the subject of the Plame investigation. Needless to say, after Rove's 4th (and seemingly final) round in front of the grand jury, the chatter has been constant. A few terms have been coined over the past two years of this investigation that we use extensively at Daily Kos:

  1. Frog-march: a visually-inspiring term to indicated someone in handcuffs (and maybe ankle-cuffs?) being led out of (presumably) the White House.
  2. PISS - An acronym referring to Pre-Indictment Stress Syndrome.
  3. Fitzmas - You can guess this one - for progressives, indictments, especially ones on the higher-ups, will be just like Christmas - therefore, FITZMAS!!

Now that you have a bit of background, a diary went up today called Fitzmas Carols!. If you guessed that it's a diary spoofing Christmas carols to represent the current indictment watch, you'd be correct. With attribution, I've extracted a few of my favorites.

I'll start with my two contributions.

Silent Night

Silent night.
Paranoid night.
Charges loom
To Cheney's gloom.
Round yon President
ru-umors fly.
The Miers nomination
has go-one awry.
Watch! His numbers they plu-unge!!
Wa-atch, his numbers they plunge.

We Need A Little Fitzmas

Haul out the handcuffs!
Get to the White House as the
Boys are frog-marched out!

It's so exciting
All the corruption will be
Fin'ly talked about!


Cause we need a little Fitzmas!
Right this very minute!
Let's end all this PISS-mas
And watch the polls deflating
Cuz we need indictment spirit!
So we can cheer and jeer it!
We need a little Fitzmas NOWWWW.....

Hehe. And now the contributions of the diary author, Biblio:

O Aspen Tree

O Aspen tree,
O Aspen tree,
Your roots are all connected.
O Aspen tree,
O Aspen tree,
But your sources aren't protected.
How shall we sell the war to them?
Just send some lies to Judy M.
O Aspen tree,
O Aspen tree,
Your roots are all connected.

O Little Town of Washington

O Little Town of Washington,
How still we see thee lie.
The folks below
Don't seem to know
That Fitzmas day is nigh.
The grand jury is weighing
Indictments `gainst these crooks.
Hopefully, we soon will see,
Fitzgerald throw the book!

"Plame!" The White House Sources Say

"Plame!" the White House sources say,
"Wilson's wife is CIA!"
"She's the one who booked the trip"
"To debunk the Niger tip."
Slowly now the Aspens turn!
Fitz has energy to burn!
He'll flip the sources from the WHIG,
Turn this into something big!
"Plame!" the White House sources say,
"Wilson's wife is CIA!"

Walking in a Beltway Wonderland!

Pundits talk, are you listening?
On Rove's brow, sweat is glistening.
A beautiful sight,
Fitz will indict,
Walking in a beltway wonderland!

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he is Preznit Bush.
We'll call him an indicted co-conspirator,
And then we'll start to kick him in the tush!

Can you tell, we're excited?
Just to see, who's indicted!
Those who have clout,
Will be frog-marched out,
Walking in a beltway wonderland!

This one comes from Debby:

Rockin' Around the Fitzmas Tree

Rockin' around the Fitzmas tree
As we're waiting for the news.
Everyone bloggin' merrily
Will the liars pay their dues?
Rockin' around the Fitzmas tree
As the bright gold leaves do swing
Later we'll serve some humble pie
And we'll do some frog-marchin'

You will get a patriotic
feeling when you hear...
Fitzie chargin' his indictments
Happy U.S.A. excitement!

Rockin' around the Fitzmas tree
Oh, won't the day come soon?
BushCo will all dress up in orange
When Fitzie drops the boom!

And from Eddie Haskell:

Santa Fitz is Hanging Then Down

We're ready to shout
We're ready to sigh
We're all watching out
I'm telling you why
Santa Fitz is handing them down.

He knows just who's been freepin'
He knows who's on the take!
He knows what Rove told so and so
Scooter's aspens he will rake

So we're ready to shout
And cry with delight
When news finally comes out
Of whom he'll indict
Santa Fitz is handing them down!

From renaissance grrrl:

O Come All Ye Libruls

O come all ye libruls
joyful and triumphant!
O come ye, o come ye, and watch them go down.
Come and behold them--
burned all Cheney's minions--
O come let us abhor them, o come let us abhor them,
O come let us abhor the-em...
Libby, and Rove.

Sing, all you snitches,
sing in desperation--
Exult, all you citizens of heaven and earth!
They will be goners,
We will say, "I told you so"--
O come let us indict them, o come let us indict them,
O come let us indict the-em...
Right to the top.

From cityduck:

Fitzy the Lawman

Fitzie the Lawman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a fresh indict and a rubber hose
And two eyes that glow like coal

Fitzie the Lawman
Is a fairytale they say
He turned a White House aide
And Scooter's afraid
He may get 10 to life one day

There must have been some magic
In that old forged doc they found
For when they leak their looking at it
The Kossacks dance around

Fitzie the lawman
Was as tough as he could be
And Cheney prays
He will get to stay
Just as free as you and me

Fitzie the Lawman
Knows how to chase bad men away
So he said let's run
And we'll have some fun
And make GW go away

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Fitzie go
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
GW screams "OH NO!"

From Joan in Seattle:

Karl Rove, the Bald-Faced Liar

Karl Rove, the bald-faced liar,
never gives Truth a chance.
He, Scooter, Bush and Cheney,
Have to wear asbestos pants.

They sold the country a war,
Based on fraud and for-ger-ies.
They lied to us and Congress,
They're awfully good at per-jur-y.

Then one crisp clear autum day,
Fitzgerald came to town.
"Karl Rove and your whole cabal,
you are going DOWN!"

Then how the rats did scurry!
Everyone was jumping ship!
Karl Rove, I hate to tell ya,
All the other Aspens flipped!

One of my absolute favorites from TexasDemocrat:

Prison Cell, Prison Cell, Prison Cell Rock

Prison Cell, Prison Cell, Prison Cell Walk
Let's let them Swing for their Treasonous Ring
Spinning, and Lying, their hiding is done
And the Frog Marching has begun

Prison Cell, Prison Cell, Prison Cell Walk
Republicans whine while they do their time
Hannah flips Hadley, and they got em Square
In Fitzy Frosty Stare!

Internal Fight time,
It's the Right's Time
To send their KKKnights away
Prison Cell Time is a swell time
For Gay marriage in another way

Froggy up, Cheney/Bush, pick up your feet
Prison's around the block
Mix and a mingle in a jingle that's sweet
That's the Prison Cell
That's the Prison Cell
That's the Prison Cell Walk!

This one was awesome, too, from maxomai:

We Three Aides

We three aides of Washington are
Trembling in the Watergate bar
Fearing Fitzy, getting tipsy
Wond'ring how things fell this far
Oh, oh....

Misses Val'rie Wilson Plame
Wish I didn't know that name
'Tis the season to prosecute treason
Played by Rove for election gain

We two aides of Washington are
Running a tab in the Watergate bar
Our companion ran off with Gannon
Ran off so very far
Oh, oh....


I, an aide of Washington are
Sloshed as hell in the Watergate bar
Facing indictment, too much excitement
Soon to be tabloid star
Oh, oh....


From TrueBlueMajority:

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

it's the most wonderful time of the year!
with indictments a-coming
the Goopers are running
and hiding in fear!
it's the most wonderful time of the year!

it's the hap-happiest season of all!
Georgie's pants are on fire
the bigger the liar
the harder they fall!
it's the hap-happiest season of all!

there'll be democrats grinning
and pundits for spinning
and leaking the secrets they know
there'll be scary Rove stories
and tales of the glories
of Watergate long long ago

it's the most wonderful time of the year!
what a gift we're receiving
with Kossacks believing
impeachments are near!
it's the most wonderful time
it's the most wonderful time
it's the most wonderful time of the year!!!

And finally, from manicprogressive:

The Indictment Song

Rove's nuts roasting on an open fire
Chimpy nipping at the blow
worthless alibis being sung by the choir
And folks dressed up in prison clothes

Everybody knows frog-marching and some
resignations help to make the season bright
Happy Kossacks with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Fitzie's on his way
He's got indictments and lots of charges on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if GOPigs really know how to fly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Fitzmas
Merry Fitzmas
Merry Fitzmas to you

posted by RenaRF at 6:01 AM 1 comments links to this post


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